Vision over Memories
Is it a ridiculous claim to say that it takes vision to raise children responsibly? The best parents surely want the best for their children. As his characters dies in one of the final scenes of the 1972 film, The Cowboys, John Wayne states, “every man wants his son to be better than he was.” After reading this quote, you’re probably thinking, “great, this dude is going to expound on some entitled white boy, type a fatherly nonsense?” You’re not wrong.
My sense of parenthood certainly derives from the stereotypical entitled white male, who enjoys the bravado of any John Wayne film; nevertheless, this example strikes deep into the heart of what matters when mentoring and developing any child, vision. A parent’s vision is what determines the paradigm for any child’s development, and when I say vision, I mean a plan and path for the future. Now, as we all know that vision can be well thought out. With most progressions thought out and planned, or there can only be a desired outcome. Either way, every responsible parent must inspire a vison for their children.
Why does this matter? This probably seems obvious to most of us out there. We intrinsically have an idea of how we want our children to live their lives. This often applies to the time our child lives under the careful care of our tutelage, but continues as a guideline into their adult life as well. Many of us guide our children through their journey with an idea of how we want them to be. In reverse, it’s easy to comprehend what happens when we lack vision. The child floats into the abyss of uncertainty living a life of ego-driven wants, desires, and suffering. A lack of vision can be destructive in many ways.
My father, his father, his father before him, and even his father all spent much, if not the entire lives serving in the beef industry as producers, buyers, and sellers. Even to this day, 36 years after my birth, my father still reminisce with stories and memories of the old days when the family beef business existed. This business ceased to exist when I was about a year old; nonetheless, my father’s stories of what was continue to this day. This surely is nothing unique. All of us that have responsible, loving, and caring parents, who consistently remind us of our near heritage with memories; although, is it impossible to think that mentoring with memories of the past rather than encouragement toward a future goal can be futile?
There can be no wrong in it. Many of us parents have fond memories of our familial past, as well as stories from our heritage that give us pride. My 2 kids are both toddlers, so they haven’t heard the stories yet; however, they’re sure to get their dose of it. What good will these stories of the family meat business do for these kids when they’re of age to understand? Likely, they’ll understand the potential for drive, dedication, and autonomy that is within them based on examples of those who’s genes they’ve inherited. Beyond that, what’s the benefit?
In my opinion, the memories and storytelling of their parents must be combined with a vision for the future. Certainly, a strong presence of the present moment, the here and now, seems ideal because nothing happens in the past nor the future; however, helping our children understand where they want to go is paramount. I believe this applies to everything, not just how one spends their life work.
How a child envisions they’re life playing out in every aspect can enable them to do great things. They can identify how they want to serve others while on their journey of life. Simultaneously, they perform everyday tasks that provide fulfillment and passion. Vision serves as a guide for the child to self-actualize and become the person they always wanted to be.
As a responsible parent, I believe we have an obligation to help our children realize their vision. We must help them understand that we should all have a place where we want to go and who we want to be. Ideally, this person is one who does their best, no matter the task, and strives to make ethical decisions that better other people’s lives.
No matter the age of children, we must help them understand their vision for the future. We must help them align their goals and daily functions so that they’re working toward their vision. This surely will enable joy and grace while living through the daily function of the present moment. It will also provide a sense of purpose rewarded through effort that cannot be paralleled. Help our children help themselves by giving them a sense of drive, and ask them, “what do you envision?”
